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Intuitive Eating

  • Anxiety, Emotional Abuse, Exercise, Intuitive Eating, Recovery, Relationships, Self Confidence, Self Empowerment, Self Love, Spirituality

    STRUGGLING WITH OVERWHELM? 6 Action Steps To Take Right Now

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    Overwhelm…probably makes you feel a little…Anxious? Nervous? Fearful? yep, even thinking of the word can conjure an unpleasant response in our body.

    So what exactly is it, where does it come from and most importantly how do we stop it from taking over?

    Overwhelm is rooted in a feeling of powerlessness. Overwhelm happens when we have lost our sense of self and have been plunged into confusion feeling a myriad of limitless options surrounding us with no idea which way to turn. This confusion may come from outside of us or from inside our own minds – but either way – it all feels like “too much” and often makes us want to shut down.

    It pushes many of us into procrastination or gets us doing meaningless tasks that aren’t in line with our truth.

    So why does overwhelm happen? Why, even though we know it is not helpful for us, do we let it in? Why can’t we stop it?

    Here are two fundamental reasons for overwhelm 

    1) YOU ARE NOT ANCHORED IN YOUR OWN AUTHORITY

    You get overwhelmed because your focus and energy is directed outward too much. There is too much emphasis on things that are going on outside of you and what other people are doing, thinking and saying.

    This is the manifestation often of a huge boundary issue, especially for empaths. Where your sense of self and identity is based on the reflections you receive from those around you and is not generated from within.

    You then get overwhelmed because there are limitless options available to you out there and without being anchored in your own authority you have no way to narrow down those options.

    The world is simply too much and your container is always overflowing with other peoples thoughts and ideas. Your own voice is crowded out.

    2) THE VOICE OF YOUR INNER CRITIC IS LOUDER THAN YOUR INTUITION/HEART

    You haven’t cultivated a strong enough relationship with your intuition and the voice of your ego takes over often.

    Your ego voice is one of fear. This conditioned voice will keep telling you you are not good enough, you need to be small, you shouldn’t cause a scene, you shouldn’t speak up.

    You feel overwhelmed then because suddenly everything feels like too much of a challenge. Everything is too scary, too dangerous, too risky. So you end up not doing these things – your ego has won – it has kept you safe and small.

    The pressure inside your mind has overwhelmed any dreams or desires you have in life to go and do what you want to do.

    The outcome as a result of either 1) or 2) or both is that you feel small and restricted in your own life and feel out of control.

    In both scenarios you are perpetuating a concept of separateness. You are disconnected from source, disconnected from truth.

    The natural order of things is wholeness, balance and abundance. The concept of overwhelm is a construct of your mind that keeps you feeling small because it wants you to be safe. 

    Overwhelm often comes with a growth moment. It is when you are asking more of yourself than you have done before.

    But, very importantly, you CAN grow without overwhelm.

    Here’s how…

    Here are 6 tips you can action whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed in order to reduce the overwhelm and allow you to move forward in life in whichever direction you want to go

    1) GET INTO THE BODY AND MOVE THE ENERGY

    Any intuitive movement is good, even just focusing on the breath works.

    Overwhelm manifests in the body but lives in the mind. Therefore you need to acknowledge it, and then move it. Examples include dance, yoga, stretching, walking, gym workouts. Any somatic practice that takes you out of your mind and into your body works well here. This is not the best time to learn a new physical skill though because you need your mind for that. Choose easy movement that you know how to do.

    2) TELL YOURSELF A NEW STORY

    Use affirmations to change the story in your mind. The most important thing here is to find statements that feel true to you. Here are a couple of examples.

    “I am more powerful than what is making me anxious”

    “I am a divine limitless spiritual being having a human experience”

    3) SET BOUNDARIES

    This will feel hard at first and may even feel more overwhelming but once you have set them and then stick with them your life will feel so much easier.

    A very tangible example here is setting boundaries around giving your energy to others. If you are constantly being asked by other people to do things for them and have no time for you then start setting boundaries with the people in your life. State clearly that you are happy to help them out but with conditions. Give time limits, share how much resource it takes you etc. let people know what you are available for and if they ask more of you then stay firm and say “no”. Make sure you are always spending time each day giving your own energy back to yourself.

    4) BREAK DOWN TASKS

    Break down tasks into the smallest conceivable size.

    I love this Hemingway quote that always reminds me of this…he talks about writing a book, saying that the idea of writing a whole novel can feel too daunting, too overwhelming…instead of thinking this he says “all you have to do is write one true sentence”.

    That is a beautiful example of breaking down a huge, overwhelming task – writing a book – into its smallest conceivable next step – writing one sentence.

    Take that principle to your to-do list.

    5) CHANGE THE TIMELINE

    Give yourself more time to do things. You don’t need to have everything done yesterday. This is so simple and so effective.

    We consistently overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can achieve in a year or in a lifetime.

    Remember the tale of the tortoise and the hare. Consistent, sustainable effort over a long time period WILL give you results so long as you stay committed. Remember that you are in charge of your time and resources. If someone is asking too much of you you get to say “no” (remember action step 3 here)

    6) DO NOT STOP COMPLETELY

    When we get overwhelmed there is a tendency to want to shut down. But when we do that we lose momentum completely and it becomes more difficult and – to be honest – more overwhelming to start again. 

    Remember action step 4 – what is the smallest conceivable task you can do to keep the momentum rolling?

    For example, if you are moving house you may feel paralysed by overwhelm about sorting out and packing up your whole house – set yourself the task of clearing out and packing one bookshelf. The satisfaction of doing that will likely motivate and inspire you to do another shelf, and another. If it doesn’t then at the very least you have completed that one task and you can do another the next day. Just do not give up completely.

    I want to share one last BONUS action step….

    GET SUPPORT

    With all of these tips remember that you never need to go through this alone. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and like you cannot manage your life reach out and share those feelings with someone. Speaking out and sharing your experience is so so helpful in moving that energy. I want you to feel empowered to deal with overwhelm in your life but I also want you to know that empowered people still need support and guidance.

    If you are building a new coaching or healing business and are feeling overwhelmed and confused then I am here for you. I work with new coaches and healers to put together beautiful signature offers and build their business in a way that feels amazing and allows them to find success with ease, grace and flow. Click here for more information

    ALSO FEATURED ON MINDFLOWHARMONY HERE

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  • Anxiety, Dieting, Emotional Eating, Intuitive Eating, Recovery

    The Number One Thing Stopping You From Quitting Emotional Eating For Good

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    I tried to diet so many times.

    I must have started and stopped hundreds, perhaps even thousands of times. Often multiple times in one day. My mind would go from little miss iron will power to f*ck all of this, imma just quit life starting with this diet within seconds.

    Cue emotional eating, bingeing, cripplingly low moods and a feeling that things would simply NEVER EVER get better.

    Let me tell you right now. Things do get better. MUCH BETTER. But in quitting dieting and emotional eating there is a big, some might say monstrous, feeling that awaits when attempting to move through this.

    It’s the reason most of us get lulled back into the cycle and the reason that destructive emotional eating remains our key coping mechanism/best friend.

    In fact, I used to justify my “mini daily binges” as healthy intuitive eating because of this very thing.

    A little thing known as ‘overwhelm’.

    Overwhelm is that feeling where anything becomes ‘too much’. Your to-do list is perpetually too long, you will never have enough time, there are too many things and everything is a priority.

    Battling on in this way is living in a state of crisis.

    That is not an exaggeration. We put our bodies into crisis mode when we live like this. Where the mountain of things we need to do, should do or would like to do is so massive that anything we have accomplished feels pointless or worthless in comparison.

    Feeling overwhelmed often leads us back to emotional eating. If we are eating as a way to escape the feeling of overwhelm then something is not right.

    Overwhelm shouldn’t be our default setting.

    The problem is that most of us don’t even realise we are living in a state of overwhelm because of our reliance on dieting, bingeing, overexercise to get us through.

    So when we try to stop these behaviours, what happens?

    The overwhelm sets in ten times stronger than ever before because we have pulled the rug out from under our own feet.

    Our destructive relationship with food was acting as a support system, a barrier between us and the things we really didn’t want to deal with. If we simply try and stop with no other helpful support system in between we get left with complete and utter overwhelm.

    And guess what?

    We slip back into our old coping mechanisms. For me it started with one chocolate bar in an afternoon when I was feeling tired but also knew that I had ‘too much’ to do to warrant taking a break. It was a ‘treat’ to help me get through. Of course, the overwhelm dissipated. I felt competent again.

    But my old patterns around food very slowly started seeping back in. Before I knew it I was avoiding my to-do list and just heading to the shop every afternoon. Life was unravelling. Again.

    The only way out of this pattern is to recognise the overwhelm for what it is and give ourselves a break.

    Rather than moving from overwhelm to coping mechanism we need to stop and take a look at why the overwhelm has appeared in our lives and whether there are things we can change about our overall lifestyle to reduce it.

    Removing the coping mechanism, i.e. the food/exercise problems, only reveals the underlying problem. We need to be prepared to face what is underneath if we are going to truly change the way we feel about food.

    This takes courage, time and patience. A lot of it. It also takes support and persistence. If you are feeling constantly overwhelmed and using food to cope know that it doesn’t always need to feel this way.

    My email is always open – let me know now – what is the one thing in your life that is causing you the most overwhelm right now? Tell me right here and let’s see if we can change that.

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  • Binge Eating, Dieting, Emotional Eating, Intuitive Eating, Recovery, Self Love

    Emotional Eating As Punishment

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    Have you ever felt like you just ‘need’ to eat that piece of cake?

    You KNOW it’s emotional, you KNOW it has something to do with things other than your hunger but it doesn’t matter, you just ‘need’ it anyway?

    If you’re reading this then I guess you have been there. A. Lot.

    You have felt that urge to ‘treat yourself’ and you are damn well going to go ahead and do just that.

    What is really happening here?

    I have written extensively on how we use food to hide from our feelings, see these blog posts here and here for more. But what is this use of food actually signalling?

    It is not just that we want to hide from our feelings. it can be something a little more sinister and confusing and therefore a little harder to overcome on our own.

    Much of the time our emotional eating stems from the fact that we do not feel worthy or lovable and we seek comfort in food. We also have beliefs that thin people are more worthy, loved and therefore happier than us.

    So when we emotionally eat we actually hitting ourselves with a double dose of self-hatred. We are eating in such a way that we are punishing ourselves for 1) having feelings of unworthiness and 2) not being thin.

    Let’s dive in to this a little deeper.

    First, we are saying to ourselves that we are unworthy and unlovable and that that pain is too much to bear. We do not want to feel these feelings therefore we will eat instead.

    Second, eating more is a surefire way of moving away from the ‘thinness’ we desperately desire therefore relegating us to a place where we will be ‘fat’ and therefore objectively and resolutely not worthy or lovable…

    What…?!!

    What kind of Jedi mind tricks are we playing on ourselves here…

    There is literally so much warped psychology around our eating patterns that it is not only unhealthy but frankly disturbing.

    When we emotionally eat under any circumstance, no matter how it makes us feel, even if we find it ‘comforting’ what we are really doing is eating to punish ourselves for having feelings. We are also eating as a way of keeping ourselves stuck in a scenario we don’t want to be in.

    Eating as punishment frequently trips us up because we aren’t even tuned in to the fact we are doing it. We think we are being kind to ourselves by ‘indulging’ but unless we have truly freed ourselves from all our diet and food related demons then all we are doing is perpetuating a negative cycle.

    If this sounds confusing….trust me I know. Most importantly, does this sound like a minefield you would like to get yourself out of?

    If yes then comment below or send me an email at sasha@sashafardell.com and let’s chat.

    If you haven’t already check out my FREE TRAINING on how to stop Emotional Eating TODAY – just click here

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  • Body Image, Intuitive Eating, Recovery, Self Confidence, Self Love

    5 Steps to Effectively Handle Bad Body Image Days

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    You wake up, you feel tired, you look at yourself bleary-eyed in the mirror and that familiar heaviness washes through your body. Staring back is the you of yesterday…but fatter.

    You swear you didn’t look like this last night when you went to bed. Why are your legs all puffy and your face swollen? Why do you have an extra bloated stomach when you haven’t even eaten yet today?

    This my friends is the start of a potential ‘bad’ body image day. I am 100% positive if you are reading this blog that you will know the feelings I just described. There is no way we could have put on a stone overnight but somehow the mirror and our mind is telling us we have. The voice in our heads is screaming at us that we are suddenly too fat again, how did we let ourselves go like this, who is this girl who is so out of control of her life she allowed herself to get this fat?

    None of these things are true. But it doesn’t matter because our mind is going to keep telling us they are until we make the decision not to eat that day or to smash ourselves at the gym or try and get 20,000 steps in or all of the above of course.

    If however we are healing our relationship with food and our body, that is the total opposite of what we’re going to do.

    Here are my best tips on how to handle yourself when you are having a bad body image day

    1.Step away from the mirror

    I’m serious. Move away from the trigger immediately and absolutely under no circumstances think about weighing yourself. Stop analysing your body, in fact don’t even look at it.

    2.Go inside

    By this I mean sit or lie still for a moment and bring your attention to your breath. At this point your mind may still be going crazy. That is ok. Let the thoughts come up. Let them happen and instead of holding on to them, just notice them. By focusing on your breath you are bringing some separation between you and your thoughts. This is vital.

    3.Start saying kind things to yourself that have nothing to do with your body or how you look

    Use “I am” to make it more potent…
    My favourites are, I am a good friend, I am a loving partner, I am fun to be around etc.

    4.Explore how you are feeling

    If you have followed along with this blog for a while you will know this is my favourite tip (and if explored fully probably the only one you need). When you are feeling crappy about your body this is a SIGNAL that something else is going on. It is a signal that there is something in your life that is triggering feelings of unworthiness, not enough-ness, emptiness or loneliness. Things are happening in your sphere which are leading you to feel pain or hurt.
    In order to stop feeling bad about our bodies we need to stop feeling bad about ourselves. This means uncovering what is really making us feel bad.

    5.Be gentle with yourself

    Don’t give yourself extra tasks to do. If you are feeling a little compromised, if your energy is low and you are struggling be extra kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up or attempt to do a million things to ‘distract’ yourself. self-care means caring for your self. That means paying attention to her, being kind to her and helping her feel safe when your thoughts are saying do the opposite.

    Ultimately these tips work instantaneously when bad body image days pop up. But ideally we want to aim for none of these days. We want to wake up everyday and not have any negative thoughts about our bodies. Trust me, it is possible! We can get to a place with our bodies where negative thoughts simply don’t enter our minds, or if they do accidentally slip in they slip out so fast we don’t even register, let alone react to them.

    If you want to make this your reality then get on a call with me right now. I know what you need to do and I know how you need to do it. We can absolutely wave good-bye to bad body image days once and for all. Post a comment below or email me directly here sasha@sashafardell.com and let’s banish these negative thoughts for good.

    Like this post? Supplement tip 4. with this blog, with these self-care tools, and these two top tips on how to stop comparing yourself

    Lots of love xx

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  • Blogvember, Emotional Eating, Intuitive Eating, Recovery, Self Love

    30 – The good thing about emotional eating

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    Just a short note to wrap up Blogvember!

    A lot of the things we have covered over the course of the month have been around stopping emotional eating.

    While as a coach that is what I help women do, I also help clients to realise that emotional eating is actually not all bad.

    As soon as we become aware that we are eating for emotional reasons we have actually unlocked a doorway for learning how to better handle our emotions. From that place we become more conscious of the choices we are making and ultimately more in control of how we are choosing to look after ourselves. Therefore sometimes we might feel down or low and actually in that moment choosing to soothe ourselves with a cup of tea and biscuit might be exactly what is best for us.

    The point is that we want to be conscious of the choices we are making and how we choose to enjoy food and practice self-care.

    I hope you have found the blogs this month informative and helpful. They will continue on but a little less frequently 🙂

    Do remember if you ever feel like the struggle is too much just drop me an email or you can reach me on social media. I am always happy to hear from you.

    Lots of love xxx

     

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  • Anxiety, Blogvember, Emotional Eating, Intuitive Eating, Self Love

    29 – The only time you shouldn’t listen to your body

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    Now I say that tongue-in-cheek because my true philosophy in life is to always in every moment listen to our body and act intuitively from that space.

    However sometimes in life there are times where we don’t ‘feel’ like eating but we need to eat and vice versa, where we feel like eating but it’s actually not the best time.

    An example of the first scenario would be grief, where someone close to us dies and we completely lose our appetite. We know we should be eating, our body might even feel tired and hungry but we just don’t want to. We don’t feel like it and feel as though we really can’t.

    Let’s delve a little deeper, in the case of the second scenario let’s use the example where our normal hunger and urge to eat arises but we are also going through an emotional period.

    When we are going through a tricky period, where things are getting on top of us and we feel overwhelmed and stressed normally we switch to auto-pilot with our routine and just ‘keep calm and carry on’. However we are missing a really excellent opportunity to learn here.

    This is also the case with our eating, we just fall into whatever pattern is easiest when things get stressful. Maybe we switch to take-out more than cooking at home, perhaps we treat ourselves with more snacks or desserts, maybe we go out for dinner and order the richest, creamiest pasta dish. Whatever it looks like, our body is sending us signals to retreat, to comfort ourselves, to eat more, and we are unconsciously following these signals. We just suddenly find ourselves eating more or eating differently.

    It can be so subtle and hard to pick up but we do begin to notice, because those are the times where we start feeling ‘fat’. We feel more lethargic, and less enthusiastic about life. These are the times where it seems like your body just wants more more more.

    These are the times we need to stop and take notice. Our body is super clever and attentive, it is trying to give your brain what it wants to make it happy. Your brain is sending out stress signals so your body is telling you it wants comfort to make your brain happy.

    This is a malfunction, the cravings are actually not coming from your body’s signals at all. This is where we need to take some time to do some self-reflection. So that our minds can relax and so can our bodies so we stop this auto-pilot of comfort eating in its tracks.

    In that moment where we decide to have a take-away meal rather than cooking for the fifth time that week instead we need to just take a pause. Stop and ask yourself how you are feeling, this is the time to not eat. This is the time to be in a quiet place with yourself, to stop the auto-pilot.

    When we do this we begin to tap in to what is really going on and stop using food as a way of escaping….even though we didn’t necessarily know we were doing it in the first place!

    In order to really understand ourselves and the optimal way of eating for our bodies we need to do a lot of self-reflection. We need to become more conscious of all the ways our eating habits and patterns are formed. This will allow us to see where and when we slip into habits that aren’t actually based on what is best for our body even though it could feel like it.

    If you’re feeling confused or struggling please reach out, comment below or email me, hope to hear from you.

    Lots of love xx

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  • Blogvember, Emotional Eating, Intuitive Eating, Recovery

    28 – The fear of the never-ending sugar binge

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    When chronic dieters first hear about the idea of food freedom, intuitive eating and allowing ourselves to eat ‘whatever we want’ we panic.

    We think that there is absolutely no way on earth this could ever turn out ok. We think that we will start eating and literally NEVER STOP. As though we will go into our local supermarket shovel the whole sweets and cake aisle into our trolley and then consume the whole lot without taking a breath. We believe that with no rules in place we will do that day after day for the rest of our lives.

    We believe food freedom means being on a never-ending junk food feeding fest.

    This is categorically not true.

    I can tell you now for 100% of people I have been in contact with where they have successfully shifted from dieting/bingeing/emotional eating to true intuitive eating this has not happened.

    Why is this? Because your body would hate it. And the key rule of intuitive eating is listen to your body.

    If you are TRULY eating intuitively your body will simply not allow you to fall down that trap. After a few more biscuits or extra slices of cake than normal you will start to feel sick, your stomach will be full and uncomfortable, you will feel tired and lethargic. These are all signs that you will listen to in your body as see them as the signals they are to stop eating. As an intuitive eater, that’s what you will do.

    Intuitive eating means saying to ourselves in those situations ‘oh maybe I’ve had too much chocolate tonight I feel a bit sick, never mind, I won’t eat anymore now and just pay attention to how I feel tomorrow’. Simple. No judgement, no wild emotional reaction. We just respond to the situation as it is.

    As we are able to stay more present with our bodies and feel how food is affecting us we will naturally make better choices. Those that feel good to our bodies and nourish us healthfully.

    Perhaps you are stuck in this trap right now and you are finding it hard to believe me. Its difficult to say “trust me, I have been there”…the number of times we read that, of how others have moved through the struggle we find ourselves stuck in. It can actually feel disheartening. Like there is something wrong with us that we haven’t figured it out yet. But there is no trick here. Listening to your body and learning to eat what your body wants and not from any other crazy rules you have made up is a practice. It is something we develop over time.

    Making the decision to start can sometimes be the hardest thing. But at least now you are safe in the knowledge that if you commit and follow through with intuitive eating you won’t end up in a never-ending food fest.

    If you are looking for someone to talk to about how you’re feeling around food just drop me an email and book in for a free clarity call where we can discuss where you are at now and some strategies to get you where you would like to be.

    Lots of love xxx

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  • Blogvember, Emotional Eating, Intuitive Eating, Recovery

    27 – Giving up emotional eating is not all or nothing – Backwards is always an option

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    Stepping on the path to stop emotional eating can feel like an absolutely ginormous leap into the unknown. A massive step filled with hesitancy and fear.

    To stop emotional eating means relinquishing the control we believe we have over ourselves, our bodies and our food. It means letting go of the reins we hold on to so tightly in order to get our lives and our bodies to look or feel a certain way.

    Emotional eating is eating in a way which has nothing to do with our physical hunger or physical needs. It is not all bad (!), neither is it all binge eating. The problem is that we so often eat unconsciously, in line with work schedules, kids schedules, the latest fad diet, that we have lost the ability to actually eat in alignment with our bodies and our natural physical needs. We’re dieting, bingeing, fasting, detoxing but without any real clue as to how this is affecting our bodies and what it is really doing to us or for us. We are so out of touch with our own physical needs that our eating patterns have become fabricated by the mind.

    When we eat in line with a certain strategy and forgo listening to our bodies we are giving all the control to our mind. This is when emotional eating happens. Instead of eating when we feel hungry and stopping when we feel full our minds give us other instructions, like ‘you must eat 1 banana for breakfast at 7am’. These instructions or rules are usually pretty random and are generated from years of conditioning by our parents, friends, diet books, celebrities…you get the idea. They are not normally based on our physical needs and wants. The problem with this type of eating with our minds rather than our bodies is that we create other rules with our minds that have nothing to do with using food for nourishment like ‘I eat ice-cream when I’m sad’.

    Because we already know food tastes good, our mind conjures up ways to use that to our advantage for hiding from emotions we don’t want to feel.

    So our mind is controlling when and how we eat and not our bodies, which is the thing that actually should be in control of how and what we eat.

    Stopping emotional eating means letting this go.

    It feels tough because we live in our minds for pretty much our whole lives.

    To let go of that control takes courage. It often feels like too big a leap for most people.

    But the amazing thing is you can actually try before you buy.

    You can try letting go of control slowly, maybe for a day or two. If it’s too much, if you can’t handle it, if a barrage of emotions fly at you and you simply can’t deal then you can let your mind get back in the driving seat. We always forget this when it comes to scary decisions. We think that it is all or nothing, or we convince ourselves that once you move forward you can never go back. But luckily life knows that is not a great plan for success. So often in life we take a step and then keep moving forward on a path that is not meant for us simply because we have this belief we can’t move backwards.

    Well guess what, you absolutely can. And when it comes to relinquishing control over our eating habits slowly but surely is the best way.

    The path to food freedom is rarely a straight line, you will find you go back on yourself, ‘slip-up’ or take a wrong-turn multiple times. The beautiful thing is you can start again at any time. This is your personal journey and it will be exactly what it is.

    If you find yourself failing more than you’re succeeding it doesn’t mean you’re necessarily doing anything wrong but it could mean you’d really benefit from a little nudge in the right direction. If you’ve tried on your own to break out of your emotional eating patterns and can’t quite seem to hack it please get in touch and let’s figure this out together, drop me an email here

    Lots of love xxx

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  • Binge Eating, Blogvember, Dieting, Intuitive Eating, Restriction

    26 – Appetite, depression, bingeing – what’s the common thread

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    Did you know that when we feel depressed we are more likely to lose our appetite than to want to binge?

    Surprised? I was too.

    I always believed that feeling unhappy and depressed was what made me binge eat. I thought I binged because I felt down, hated my life and hated my body.

    Biologically speaking bingeing actually has little to do with feeling low, sad or depressed.

    The reason we believe that we want to eat when we are depressed is, paradoxically, because we diet. So many of us chronically under eat (a lot of the time on purpose) on a day to day basis using our will-power, hiding behind our busy schedules or over-exercising. Many of us don’t even believe we are under eating because we are so desperate to be slimmer and completely consumed with our mission to eat less.

    Then when the emotional shit hits the fan and something happens in our lives that really throws us off, that sinks us into depression, our mind is suddenly not able to use all of its normal control tactics to keep us eating less. All bets are off and our body begins screaming for food.

    Suddenly we are ravenous and all we want to do is eat high calorie snacks and comfort food. Our mind has moved into a different mode – into the ‘IDGAF, couldn’t care less about anything, about who I am, I don’t ever want to get out of bed’ zone. Suddenly the normally oppressive controlling voice of our minds has been switched off and cravings are allowed back in.

    When your mind shuts down your body actually starts waking up. This allows it to start self-regulating again after you have spent days, weeks, months trying to force it to survive on less than it requires for optimal functioning. Your mind’s depressed state and inability to maintain control any longer frees your body and you binge, or you find yourself eating way more than you do on a ‘normal’ day.

    The most important point here is that it is NOT the low mood or depression that causes bingeing, it is the restriction beforehand.

    What does it look like then for someone who is feeling down but who doesn’t normally control their food?

    When we eat normally, following our intuition, cravings and natural appetite fluctuations we are feeding our body exactly what it needs. When something difficult happens in our lives and we find ourselves in a low mood or in a depressed state, we become disconnected from our bodies. Very simply put depression is a form of disconnection. When feel low, sad, depressed we feel disconnected from life. Our mind becomes disconnected from our body and the normal messages that go back and forth telling us when and what to eat are no longer being received clearly. We lose interest in life and we lose interest in eating. Think of this example – what do you give to people when a loved one has died? You go round with food, right. You take them food because more often than not they are so overwhelmed with grief they forget to eat.

    If you are chronically under eating then trust me you will not be forgetting to eat any time soon.

    As I often like to say this blog is more personal and practical rather than scientific but there is a whole heap of research around this topic, so go ahead and do a deep dive online.

    But when we think about it logically from an emotional standpoint doesn’t it make so much more sense that if you are in a place where you are less interested in life and feeling disconnected then you would also be less interested in food and eating?

    So next time you feel down and you reach for the biscuit tin and then feel even worse…why not ask yourself whether you have really been nourishing your body adequately recently. Ask yourself whether this could be your natural hunger showing up after having been repressed for so long?

    Any time we feel the need to over-eat or binge there is something else going on for us. The only time humans really binge is when we have been restricting our food. So if you really want to stop bingeing when you feel down then you need to start eating when you’re up…

    Sending you lots of love xxx

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  • Blogvember, Body Image, Dieting, Emotional Eating, Intuitive Eating, Recovery, Restriction

    24 – Find Flexibility – Find Food Freedom

    • Comments Off on 24 – Find Flexibility – Find Food Freedom
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    A huge shift has taken place in the diet/health industry. People have woken up to the fact that being skinny does not necessarily equate to being happy and healthy, that fat loss is not the be all and end all. Size zero is definitely not as ‘in’ as it once was.

    However this has given rise to a new obsession with finding what ‘healthy’ really is. In comes the race to find the most super superfood, the ‘best’ balance of macro and micronutrients, the best time to eat. It’s not just about counting calories anymore. The diet industry is morphing into a health and wellness industry focused on ‘healthy’ eating and with that a growing number of us falling into orthorexic tendencies.

    As you know I like to keep this blog pretty practical and personal rather than going into the factual minutiae but for background orthorexia has been defined by NEDA as “an obsession with proper or ‘healthful’ eating”. It is not clinically diagnosable at the time of this blog but it feels like it’s only a matter of time.

    Not only is there a general push towards finding the ‘healthiest’ diet people have also become more conscious of the environmental implications of the food industry. This has led to a shift towards more people choosing veganism and claiming that it is the healthiest way to eat not only for your body but for the planet as well.

    As a coach supporting absolute food freedom for all I don’t actively support any particular way of eating or trends in the wellness industry. I remain neutral not because I don’t have an opinion but because we are all totally unique and different and therefore what looks and feels like food freedom for me will be different to what looks and feels like food freedom to you.

    I also focus on the emotional basis of our crazy eating habits, binges and fad diets because if we don’t dig deep and look at the real reasons WHY we get so obsessed with particular dogma around food we won’t be able to heal it and find a healthy food freedom that will last a lifetime.

    With this move towards healthy eating now being equated with clean eating, i.e. eating in the most nutrient efficient, unprocessed way, and people getting confused with the all too nebulous term ‘balance’ I want to broaden your minds as to what ‘healthy’ could mean in reality for you.

    Health and balance when it comes to food and your body is not just about what you eat and what you look like, it’s not even just about what you feel like. Having a healthy and balanced relationship with food and your body means eating in a way that not only feels good to you and your body but that also slots into your life with the proper priority level.

    Eating well and caring for our bodies is super important. I am a huge advocate of taking care of ourselves in every way we can so that we can show up in the world and give our true and best selves. However sometimes this doesn’t look like waking up naturally at 7am sipping on a lemon water and eating overnight oats then eating our carefully planned, prepped meals every 2-3 hours.

    Sometimes this means getting up super early in the morning to go and pick our family up from the airport, grabbing a coffee and croissant there even though we know that’s not the best for our energy levels, spending the day running around doing chores to get ready for a work event, having an impromptu pizza lunch date, then collapsing onto the sofa with random leftovers we have put together from our fridge.

    Even though that day didn’t look like a perfect ‘healthy eating’ day, we still fuelled ourselves, we were able to get on with what we wanted to do that day and we showed up in our lives without letting the food options available stop us.

    The magic thing is that after a few days like this, if you are truly seeking health and balance and are able to listen to your body, it will naturally start craving more variety, more fresh foods, different proteins and vegetables. You will find yourself reaching for different foods if your follow your body’s intuition. You don’t need to reverse engineer or restrict your daily activities thinking that you need to eat in a certain perfect way to be healthy. Your body is constantly working on the subconscious level to keep you alive and healthy. When you start allowing your mind to dictate everything you are actually fighting against your body. When you are trying to second-guess what your body needs all the time you are trying to predict the future.

    The only way to find food freedom and be healthy is to listen to your body in the moment. To be aware and use your knowledge to support the choices you are making but not to be bound by this knowledge if your day does not go exactly to plan.

    I encourage you before you say no to things because of the food options available to remember that your body is an incredible, amazing thing that is able to self-regulate and is always looking to bring you back to balance. Knowing what is healthiest for your own body doesn’t mean you have to be dogmatic about sticking to those exact things.

    Life is really just about how well we can adapt to constant change, you’ve heard it before and I will say it again, the only thing we can be certain of in this life is uncertainty!

    Be careful when you are saying no to things because of food choices that you are not actually saying no to life.

    If this resonated check out this blog on how to cope with body change; this one on change in our daily food requirements;
    and this one on finding freedom outside of control

    Lots of love xxx

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