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Binge Eating

  • Binge Eating, Body Image, Dieting, Emotional Eating, Recovery, Self Confidence, Self Love

    How Life Has Changed Since Stopping Emotional Eating

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    This morning I woke up naturally, no buzzing sound of alarm calling me to ‘get my ass to the gym’, I rolled over and lay there for a while, took a few breaths and smiled to myself.

    This sounds like the start of a cheesy film…perhaps it is. And I am grateful for that. Because never in a million years did I ever think this could be my life.

    If you’ve been following along this blog for a while and have read ‘my story’ (find it here) then you will know I put myself through absolute hell with my diet and my body. And today all I feel is gratitude for this amazing life I have. This amazing life that I fought for myself to have.

    I was once that girl who appeared to ‘have it all’ – the job, the apartment, the relationship, the money, the clothes, the bags, the holidays…..the body.

    Everything looked amazing on the outside. But what I remember about being that girl wasn’t any of that. What I remember about being that girl were the endless nights I was doubled over in pain after eating a huge takeaway meal, family sized bag of crisps, a packet of biscuits, half a chocolate cake, a tub of ice cream, sharing bags of sweets and taking laxatives on top of that to try and ‘flush’ it out so I didn’t ingest the calories.

    I remember waking up the next day after 2 hours of sleep feeling like I’d been hit by a truck then putting on my gym clothes and my running watch and heading out for an hour long slog down the Thames, dragging my feet along, willing my legs to carry me. I remember wishing away the hours during the day at work or with friends so that I could be at home on my own and eat.

    The only thing I remember enjoying was shopping for my binges. My greatest joy in life was getting to go to the supermarket after work and spending inordinate amounts of money on snacks and treats. I would tell myself that I would only eat half when packets of cakes were on buy one get one free offers. That it was more cost effective for me to buy the biggest packets of crisps because I would eat them at some point anyway…knowing full well I could never stop mid-packet. I would play games with myself that because I had exercised and hadn’t eaten all day it was ok for me to devour 4000 calories worth of chocolate fudge brownie cake and ice cream.

    My emotion-fuelled binges consumed my whole life. The sadness and helplessness that enveloped my entire life was suffocating. I look back and all I remember were hazy moments of peace found mid-binge when the sugar had started to hit and I knew I still had so much more to eat. The rest of my life was covered by a huge black cloud.

    To say my life has changed is the world’s biggest understatement.

    It couldn’t be more different.

    Here’s a few of the ways my life has transformed –

    🌟I eat whatever food whenever I want and NEVER feel guilty

    🌟I enjoy ALL foods – yes, including veggies!

    🌟I exercise because I enjoy it

    🌟I love my body unconditionally

    🌟I am WAY more fun to be around

    🌟I have time to do things I enjoy

    🌟I am the happiest I have ever been

    🌟I LOVE my life

    Tell me you don’t want more of all that for yourself?

    Hand on heart, what do you want for yourself? If you had a fairy godmother who could give you one wish right now what would it be? Tell me honestly that you wouldn’t want to feel happier in your life?

    You don’t need a fairy godmother – you can be your own fairy godmother and grant yourself that wish right now. All you need to do is take one step forward and say ‘I need support to move through this transition, to quit the crazy eating behaviours’. Raise your hand and say ‘I know I can do this, I know what I need to do and I know with someone by my side I will do it’.

    I’ve got your back. I am asking for your permission to be there for you. I can and I will support you through this. All you need to do is say yes…

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  • Binge Eating, Dieting, Emotional Eating, Intuitive Eating, Recovery, Self Love

    Emotional Eating As Punishment

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    Have you ever felt like you just ‘need’ to eat that piece of cake?

    You KNOW it’s emotional, you KNOW it has something to do with things other than your hunger but it doesn’t matter, you just ‘need’ it anyway?

    If you’re reading this then I guess you have been there. A. Lot.

    You have felt that urge to ‘treat yourself’ and you are damn well going to go ahead and do just that.

    What is really happening here?

    I have written extensively on how we use food to hide from our feelings, see these blog posts here and here for more. But what is this use of food actually signalling?

    It is not just that we want to hide from our feelings. it can be something a little more sinister and confusing and therefore a little harder to overcome on our own.

    Much of the time our emotional eating stems from the fact that we do not feel worthy or lovable and we seek comfort in food. We also have beliefs that thin people are more worthy, loved and therefore happier than us.

    So when we emotionally eat we actually hitting ourselves with a double dose of self-hatred. We are eating in such a way that we are punishing ourselves for 1) having feelings of unworthiness and 2) not being thin.

    Let’s dive in to this a little deeper.

    First, we are saying to ourselves that we are unworthy and unlovable and that that pain is too much to bear. We do not want to feel these feelings therefore we will eat instead.

    Second, eating more is a surefire way of moving away from the ‘thinness’ we desperately desire therefore relegating us to a place where we will be ‘fat’ and therefore objectively and resolutely not worthy or lovable…

    What…?!!

    What kind of Jedi mind tricks are we playing on ourselves here…

    There is literally so much warped psychology around our eating patterns that it is not only unhealthy but frankly disturbing.

    When we emotionally eat under any circumstance, no matter how it makes us feel, even if we find it ‘comforting’ what we are really doing is eating to punish ourselves for having feelings. We are also eating as a way of keeping ourselves stuck in a scenario we don’t want to be in.

    Eating as punishment frequently trips us up because we aren’t even tuned in to the fact we are doing it. We think we are being kind to ourselves by ‘indulging’ but unless we have truly freed ourselves from all our diet and food related demons then all we are doing is perpetuating a negative cycle.

    If this sounds confusing….trust me I know. Most importantly, does this sound like a minefield you would like to get yourself out of?

    If yes then comment below or send me an email at sasha@sashafardell.com and let’s chat.

    If you haven’t already check out my FREE TRAINING on how to stop Emotional Eating TODAY – just click here

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  • Binge Eating, Dieting, Emotional Eating, Recovery, Self Confidence, Self Love

    Emotional Eating is keeping you Invisible

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    For most of my life I was the quiet one. I preferred to observe what was happening rather than let myself join in. My self-criticism was so overwhelming it was debilitating. I didn’t realise that for much of my life I was trying to make myself invisible.

    My relationship with food was my big secret. My personal dieting quests, supermarket binge-food hauls and hours of obsessing over calories were my safe space. These private behaviours were what gave me the confidence to show up in the world. I used them to hide myself so that what I presented was only a very small portion of who I was and how I felt. They helped me create a facade of the person I wanted to be – thin and happy.

    Does any of this feel familiar? Hiding the ‘real’ you behind your eating patterns?

    When we use unhealthy behaviours, when we try to control through obsession and strict adherence to rules it is because we are trying to cope with something. Something in the world has made us feel unsafe – physically, emotionally or mentally – and we are grabbing on to something tangible to bring some semblance of normality to our lives.

    The thing that has made us feel unsafe doesn’t necessarily need to be a massive trauma. But it is something that has shaken us, specifically made us question who we really are and why we are here. Maybe it was a bully in school who told us we were ugly or our parents ignoring us when we asked for help. The result of these experiences though makes us feel like there is something inherently wrong with us. We believe that as a result of who we are we are flawed. This makes us want to be small…for me it made me want to disappear completely. I perfected becoming invisible. I could be in a group with everyone talking for hours and people would not even notice I was standing there. It was exactly what I wanted to achieve but also perpetuated this feeling that I was invisible. I truly believed I wasn’t worthy of taking up space.

    Emotional eating was my refuge, my way of staying visible to one person in the world, myself. Being able to control food and my body was the one way I stayed present in this world.

    Our emotional eating often becomes our sanctuary. This can make it difficult to try and move away from. We know it is hurting us and we know that we are not coping but the alternative feels so scary. Why is this? Because the alternative is living our truth, showing up for ourselves and speaking up for ourselves in our lives. It doesn’t sound terrifying but have you tried it recently? Have you tried really speaking your mind? Have you tried uncovering your deepest darkest secrets to someone? Have you revealed to anyone how you feel so unlovable and so unworthy of friendship or community of any kind? Have you done this with someone who is trustworthy, loving and will listen?

    The only way to stop emotional eating is to accept the fact that we will need to make ourselves visible in this world. Stopping emotional eating means stopping hiding from the world. It means taking a step forward to becoming the person we want to be. The person we truly are…which, please note, is not a depressed, hopeless waste of space. I had this belief for an incredibly long time…that the real me was a waste of space. I couldn’t accept that I had a place here on earth my self-worth was so low. BUT I’m telling you right now this is NOT TRUE.

    I am so grateful everyday that I realised that I could only work on my self-worth and follow my dreams once I stopped using my controlling, obsession with food as a comfort blanket. A different life is possible for you once you step out from behind the shadow of your crazy relationship with food and stop being afraid of being seen.

    But I couldn’t have done it without support. If you know you need to make a change I might be the one to support you through this. I know exactly what you need and when you need it to transition on this journey. Get in touch through the comments below or email me sasha@sashafardell.com

    If you haven’t already check out my FREE Audio Masterclass on Emotional Eating – Why You Do It And How To Stop Today here

    Lots of love and bye for now xx

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  • Binge Eating, Emotional Eating, Recovery, Uncategorized

    First Guest Blog…Deep Dive into 5 Minutes of Delayed Bingeing by Ari Snaevarsson

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    Hi lovely readers,

    Today on the blog we have a special guest post from Ari who is a nutrition coach who works primarily with clients who suffer from disordered eating patterns. He also works as a dietetic technician at a residential eating disorder treatment center. He has also published a fantastic book 100 Days of Food Freedom: A Day-by-Day Journey to Self-Discover, Freedom from Dieting, and Recovery From Your Eating Disorder. You can check him and his book out here

    If you have any comments or questions let us know at the bottom and Ari and I will be happy to answer 🙂 Lots of love, please enjoy this special guest post from Ari.

    “Today I’d like to invite you into a much deeper look into what just 5 minutes of delayed binge-eating looks like. This is going to be an article unlike most others, and if you struggle at all with seemingly permanent binge-eating patterns, this could be what it takes to reorient your thought processes and get into a recovery-oriented mindset. But first, what are we talking about when we say “delayed bingeing”?


    When we “delay” a binge, we are literally giving the brain messages and
    feedback loops time to process, and we are bringing mindful awareness to these sensations as we let them unfold. This way, rather than jumping from one distraction to the next and simply hoping this binge does not overtake us, we are taking an actionable step towards postponing the behavior.
    This is vital for us to grasp. As I had to learn in my own recovery from Binge-Eating Disorder, the problem is not the bingeing. The problem is the mindlessness of the situation (and it’s worth noting the word “problem” in this sense carries no implications of moral wrongdoing, but rather just serves to identify where things go awry and problematic behaviors start popping up). The problem is that we allow these thought patterns and behavior chains to roll on without interruption, and when we do this, the natural endpoint is a binge session.


    So, we use delayed bingeing (whether it be executed in a formal treatment
    setting or on your own) to get in touch with the feelings present during an urge to binge. This allows us to regain control over our symptoms and ultimately reclaim Food Freedom.


    But what does delayed bingeing actually look like and, as an extension of that, how can you start employing it today? First and foremost, it’s important to mention that this is an exercise to undertake at your own risk. If you don’t believe this will be helpful for you, either due to immense fear of your inability to control the situation or else reason to believe this is targeting the wrong aspects of your recovery, please reach out and I’d be happy to help you process this.


    If this does strike you as a potentially important procedure, consider
    implementing it first on a weekly basis. You can scale it up from there, depending on its initial efficacy, but it’s important to start at a small and manageable level. After all, this should only be one small piece of a larger recovery plan.


    A deep look


    To begin, we’ll want to enter the area where bingeing would normally occur. For some, this is the kitchen, but for others, it could be a college dorm common room with a vending machine in it or maybe a convenience store. Granted, if it’s somewhere public and others could potentially spectate, that might not lend itself to the most mindful of exposures, but the priority is to emulate your typical binge environment. You need not necessarily get the food out just yet (the idea with delayed bingeing is to give yourself the option to binge or not binge, and getting the food ready presupposes that you will binge).

    Minute 1


    Start by focusing on the breath. Breathe in on a count of 4, hold for a count of 1, and then release on a count of 5. Do this until it becomes more automatically rhythmic.
    It can help to focus in on a certain anatomical area where the breath feels most apparent. This could be at the level of the stomach, chest, shoulder, or even the nostrils. Find somewhere where it feels apparent and can easily be cued into. When your thoughts start running away from you (i.e. you become distracted), don’t fret. Just bring yourself back to the breath and carry on from where you left off. Remember that any sort of mindfulness endeavor is as much about the returning to the breath as it is
    about the mindful awareness itself.


    Minute 2


    You can now move to thinking about the hunger or binge urges that are present. Notice the difference between these two. Notice whether any true hunger is even present at all.
    This is an important step, as the whole idea of this delayed binge is to consider its validity and which part of you is asking to engage in the behavior. Is it your stomach rumbling and asking for food? Or is it a series of inappropriately wired neural connections that have grown to believe rapidly consuming food is the most efficient way to numb and deal with overwhelming emotions? Often, it’s the latter.


    Minute 3


    By Minute 3, the goal is to start thinking about how harmless this is. You’ve now delayed the binge a full two minutes, and nothing bad is happening. You’re ostensibly not in physical pain (at least, not from this) and your mood and emotions are responding accordingly. This is an extremely important realization to cement: the idea that this comes in waves and you are safe to wait. The binge is not an inevitability.

    Importantly, this is not to invalidate the emotional turmoil you might be
    experiencing right now. I recall nights where the urge to binge was so strong that killing myself seemed a more appropriate response, so that I could finally escape the pain and fear associated with these urges. Sometimes the urges would feel like my soul was leaving my body, and I needed to binge. So, the idea here is not to discount what you’re feeling but rather to properly contextualize it. Understand that the urges might
    feel scary beyond belief, but they are not going to hurt you. You are safe right now.

    Minute 4


    Now shift to some loving kindness (metta) meditation. You are going to grant yourself love and radical self-compassion. As Dr. Kristin Neff teaches in Self-Compassion, there are three elements we want to focus on here: self-kindness, mindfulness, and common humanity. For self-kindness, use statements of compassion to emphasize self-care, such as “I’ve been doing an awesome job so far, and I’m staying super calm and in control.”

    For mindfulness, return to some deep breaths and use a statement or two of objective mindful awareness, such as “I’m feeling a little bit of impatience but also some pride” (of course, keep this true to what you’re actually feeling). And then, finally, for common humanity, we just want some statement that reminds you of the greater picture, like “Binge-eating is a neurological condition that affects millions. Others are going through
    this struggle too; I’m not alone.”


    Minute 5


    To finish the delayed bingeing, by Minute 5, we will implement the two-step process I refer to as “peaceful transitions” in 100 Days of Food Freedom. First, institute a state of “free mind” but letting your mind run rampant. For the next 20-30 seconds, your mind is free to be as “anti-meditation” as it wants, freely ruminating on thoughts, getting distracted without returning to the breath, etc. Then, return to the breath again and maintain a soft gaze (especially important if your eyes were closed prior to this), allowing yourself to peacefully transition back into normal life. This is also where you’ll decide whether to act on the urges or not.

    Remember that, if you do choose to act on them, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve now taken a full 5 minutes to consider where these urges are coming from and whether you truly want to eat or not. This is a significantly more informed decision now than it would have been 5 minutes ago.


    Conclusion


    The final decision, as this delayed bingeing protocol ends, is whether to eat. This is something you get to decide, which is the most important point of it all. Nobody gets to tell you when to eat or stop eating. The decision comes from within, and these 5 detailed minutes of mindfulness and self-evaluation serve to help you make a completely informed decision here. The final question to ask yourself before determining whether or not to grab for food now is: Am I hungry for this?

    Delayed bingeing allows for anyone struggling with binge-eating to reclaim some control, if only momentary, and realize the binge is not an inevitability. Binge-eating is often very different than “normal eating,” not only in the speed of consumption and lack of fullness cues, but also in the sense that it is primarily nudged on by psychological thought patterns that have led us astray. For example, maybe the thought is that “this current feeling is uncomfortable and the only way you can fix it is with your binge foods.”

    Rarely is the thought something as grounded in reality as “an ice cream would be nice right now.” As such, taking the time to become intimately connected to these thoughts and truly sift through them to discover their underlying motivations is more important than you might ever realize.

    Remember that this strategy can always be used when you need it, rendering it one of the most accessible therapeutic strategies in recovery. The binge is not an inevitability.

    Your life is your story. Make it amazing.”

    I hope you have enjoyed this guest post from Ari and found something useful in there for you. I personally have used this principle before bingeing many times in my recovery and it has helped me immensely.

    See you next time xx

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  • Binge Eating, Blogvember, Dieting, Intuitive Eating, Restriction

    26 – Appetite, depression, bingeing – what’s the common thread

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    Did you know that when we feel depressed we are more likely to lose our appetite than to want to binge?

    Surprised? I was too.

    I always believed that feeling unhappy and depressed was what made me binge eat. I thought I binged because I felt down, hated my life and hated my body.

    Biologically speaking bingeing actually has little to do with feeling low, sad or depressed.

    The reason we believe that we want to eat when we are depressed is, paradoxically, because we diet. So many of us chronically under eat (a lot of the time on purpose) on a day to day basis using our will-power, hiding behind our busy schedules or over-exercising. Many of us don’t even believe we are under eating because we are so desperate to be slimmer and completely consumed with our mission to eat less.

    Then when the emotional shit hits the fan and something happens in our lives that really throws us off, that sinks us into depression, our mind is suddenly not able to use all of its normal control tactics to keep us eating less. All bets are off and our body begins screaming for food.

    Suddenly we are ravenous and all we want to do is eat high calorie snacks and comfort food. Our mind has moved into a different mode – into the ‘IDGAF, couldn’t care less about anything, about who I am, I don’t ever want to get out of bed’ zone. Suddenly the normally oppressive controlling voice of our minds has been switched off and cravings are allowed back in.

    When your mind shuts down your body actually starts waking up. This allows it to start self-regulating again after you have spent days, weeks, months trying to force it to survive on less than it requires for optimal functioning. Your mind’s depressed state and inability to maintain control any longer frees your body and you binge, or you find yourself eating way more than you do on a ‘normal’ day.

    The most important point here is that it is NOT the low mood or depression that causes bingeing, it is the restriction beforehand.

    What does it look like then for someone who is feeling down but who doesn’t normally control their food?

    When we eat normally, following our intuition, cravings and natural appetite fluctuations we are feeding our body exactly what it needs. When something difficult happens in our lives and we find ourselves in a low mood or in a depressed state, we become disconnected from our bodies. Very simply put depression is a form of disconnection. When feel low, sad, depressed we feel disconnected from life. Our mind becomes disconnected from our body and the normal messages that go back and forth telling us when and what to eat are no longer being received clearly. We lose interest in life and we lose interest in eating. Think of this example – what do you give to people when a loved one has died? You go round with food, right. You take them food because more often than not they are so overwhelmed with grief they forget to eat.

    If you are chronically under eating then trust me you will not be forgetting to eat any time soon.

    As I often like to say this blog is more personal and practical rather than scientific but there is a whole heap of research around this topic, so go ahead and do a deep dive online.

    But when we think about it logically from an emotional standpoint doesn’t it make so much more sense that if you are in a place where you are less interested in life and feeling disconnected then you would also be less interested in food and eating?

    So next time you feel down and you reach for the biscuit tin and then feel even worse…why not ask yourself whether you have really been nourishing your body adequately recently. Ask yourself whether this could be your natural hunger showing up after having been repressed for so long?

    Any time we feel the need to over-eat or binge there is something else going on for us. The only time humans really binge is when we have been restricting our food. So if you really want to stop bingeing when you feel down then you need to start eating when you’re up…

    Sending you lots of love xxx

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  • Binge Eating, Blogvember, Dieting, Emotional Eating, Recovery, Self Confidence, Self Love

    25 – How to feel what you feel when eating when you’re NOT eating

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    I hope this title was cryptic enough…

    The reason so many of us turn to food is because it gives us pleasure, it gives us satisfaction, soothes us, comforts us or otherwise makes us feel a certain way. We use food to bring up a particular sensation. We want food to heal us, to take away our pain, to stop us feeling something or to get us to feel anything. We binge and we restrict all to change how we are feeling.

    Whatever method we choose what we are really searching for is that ‘ahhh’ moment when all of our worries and stresses slip away. When we feel that calm, peaceful wave move through our body. Where time seems to stop and we are not here any more. We are enveloped in that warm, comfortable place where nothing can touch us or hurt us. We feel safe, we feel supported. We feel secure and for that tiny fleeting moment we feel loved and accepted.

    This is the feeling we go searching for when we sit down to binge, or when we embark on a new punishingly restrictive diet. That feeling of undeniable acceptance. That moment where we are ok. We spend our days feeling like we are not good enough, not acceptable, too much of this or not enough of that. We crave some peace, so we go looking for it in food or in punishing ourselves through food.

    What if you could feel that peace, that safety, that security all the time? What if in every moment of every day, whatever you were doing, wherever you were going, you were able to feel secure, accepted, supported, comforted? What if you were able to have all that without manipulating your food or exercise? What if you were able to have all that while eating exactly what you wanted whenever you wanted?

    I’m here to tell you that you absolutely can.

    In fact the only thing that is stopping you from having that inner peace is the battle you are currently in with food and your body.

    The very thing that stops us from having peace is ourselves. We are the masters of torturing ourselves. We criticise, chastise and compare ourselves negatively to those around us, those online (more on how to stop that here). We are just straight unkind to ourselves. We starve ourselves or stuff ourselves to make us feel like somehow we fit into this imaginary box some ‘society’ out there has created.

    This does not need to be the case. The reality is there is no-one out there putting you in a box apart from you. Every single person is totally unique and different. There really is no ‘box’ that we need to get in. There simply can’t be because what the hell would that box look like?

    The only person you need to be like is yourself. And guess what, you already are that.

    We don’t need to ‘try’, we don’t need to force or battle or change to be more ourselves. We simply are. As soon as we realise that we instantly get that ‘ahh’ moment. Suddenly we relax when we realise that all we need to be and all we are is who we are right now. You do not need to change for anybody, for any rules, for any reason. Who you are deep inside is absolutely perfect.

    The hard part is getting to believe that though, right?…well here is the only tip you need.

    The only way to see that is for us to open ourselves to the possibility of not trying to be someone different.

    Stop searching for that ‘ahh’ moment in food or in punishment and instead let go and relax in the gloriousness that is you exactly as you are.

    If this speaks to you and you are right there with me that this is the answer and you just need a little help to get there then book in a completely free clarity session with me where we discuss where you’re at right now and give you a strategy to get to work on right away. Just drop me an email now – what are you waiting for?

    Lots of love xx

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  • Binge Eating, Blogvember, Emotional Eating, Intuitive Eating, Recovery, Spirituality

    17 – Is mindful eating important and what even is it anyway?

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    For me the term mindful eating has been wrongly appropriated by the diet industry. Diet tips often include things like ‘savour your food’, eat slowly, put your knife and fork down between bites, drink water as you eat, chew your food 20 times before you swallow.

    All these things are technically mindful eating, however the way they are sold is as though if you do these things they will help you to eat less and therefore lose weight. I want to reclaim these mindful eating tools as helpful ways to train us to eat intuitively and NOT as weight loss tips.

    Mindful eating is great for us in a myriad of ways. It helps us focus on our food rather than eating distractedly, it brings ceremony and importance to our meals which helps us enjoy them more and it also help us connect with the food we are eating and therefore aids our digestive process. All of these things help us tune in to our bodies more, enjoy the food we’re eating and therefore cultivate a healthier relationship with food and our bodies.

    Mindful eating is an amazing way we can learn to eat more intuitively. It helps us quit dieting and stop emotionally eating.

    One of the main things that happens when we emotionally eat is that we disconnect our minds from our bodies. Our minds are in distress, we are upset or angry so we turn to food. We ignore whether our body is saying it is hungry or full or whether it is craving vegetables or protein, instead we follow the part in our mind which is saying ‘feed me food that will bring instant pleasure right now’. Because we have trained ourselves to respond to our thoughts all the time there is no room to listen to what our bodies are saying. We have learnt to short circuit our own internal cues.

    This is where mindful eating comes into play.

    Mindful eating practices help us to reconnect our minds and bodies. When we eat more slowly and with more focus our mind relaxes it’s control and we can hear more clearly what our bodies are saying.

    Binge eating is an extreme manifestation of mindless emotional eating. We want to crush down how we are feeling, or repress it before it even rears it head, so we stuff down as much food as we can. We are abusing food. Food is actually for nourishing our bodies, giving us energy and bringing a little simple joy into the experience of being alive. If we are shoving it into our mouths to forget our feelings we are purposefully using food for the opposite reasons. In order to stop binge eating we can change how we eat – the speed, the thoughts and the process – in order to reset ourselves and therefore start using food for its intended purpose.

    A key tenet of mindful eating is slowing down. Put your food on a plate, eat with a knife and fork, chew your food properly before taking another bite, pause briefly periodically while you’re eating and see how your stomach feels. Slowing down is not just about being able to listen to what our stomach is saying but also what the rest of our body is experiencing.

    By slowing down our eating the emotion we are trying to hide (in the case of emotional eating/bingeing) might come up to the surface. Tears might threaten to pour, a scream might rise up from the bottom of our lungs. This is what you are supposed to be dealing with. This is your body saying please stop hiding your feelings with food. If emotions rise up put the food down and honour your feelings. Honour yourself, honour your body, respect the reality of the moment.

    Being more mindful with our food is another avenue to being more mindful with ourselves. Another way we can get to know ourselves better. When we get to know ourselves better, paradoxically we don’t need to hide from ourselves in food anymore. Therefore more mindful eating means less emotional eating and bingeing.

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  • Binge Eating, Blogvember, Emotional Eating, Intuitive Eating

    11 – How can mindful eating stop us bingeing?

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    For me the term mindful eating has been wrongly appropriated by the diet industry. Diet tips often include things like ‘savour your food’, eat slowly, put your knife and fork down between bites, drink water as you eat, chew your food 20 times before you swallow.

    All these things are technically mindful eating, however the way they are sold is as though if you do these things they will help you to eat less and therefore lose weight. I want to reclaim these mindful eating tools as helpful ways to train us to eat intuitively and NOT as weight loss tips.

    Mindful eating is great for us in a myriad of ways. It helps us focus on our food rather than eating distractedly, it brings ceremony and importance to our meals which helps us enjoy them more and it also help us connect with the food we are eating and therefore aids our digestive process. All of these things help us tune in to our bodies more, enjoy the food we’re eating and therefore cultivate a healthier relationship with food and our bodies.

    Mindful eating is an amazing way we can learn to eat more intuitively. It helps us quit dieting and stop emotionally eating.

    One of the main things that happens when we emotionally eat is that we disconnect our minds from our bodies. Our minds are in distress, upset or angry so we turn to food. we ignore whether our body is saying it is hungry or full or whether it is craving vegetables or protein, instead we follow the part in our mind which is saying ‘feed me food that will bring instant pleasure right now’. Because we have trained ourselves to respond to our thoughts, our minds, all the time there is no room to listen to what our bodies are saying. We have learned to short circuit our own internal cues.

    This is where mindful eating comes into play.

    Mindful eating practices help us to reconnect our minds and bodies. When we eat more slowly and with more focus our mind relaxes it’s control and we can hear more clearly what our bodies are saying.

    Binge eating is an extreme manifestation of mindless emotional eating. We want to crush down how we are feeling, or repress it before it even rears it head, so we stuff down as much food as we can. We are abusing food. Food is actually for nourishing our bodies, giving us energy and bringing a little simple joy into the experience of being alive. If we are shoving it into our mouths to forget our feelings we are purposefully using food for the opposite reasons. In order to stop binge eating we can change how we eat – the speed, the thoughts and the process – in order to reset ourselves and therefore start using food for its intended purpose.

    A key tenet of mindful eating is slowing down. Put your food on a plate, eat with a knife and fork, chew your food properly before taking another bite, pause briefly periodically while you’re eating and see how your stomach feels. Slowing down is not just about being able to listen to what our stomach is saying but also what the rest of our body is experiencing.

    By slowing down the emotion we are trying to hide (in the case of emotional eating/bingeing) might come up to the surface. Tears might threaten to pour, a scream might rise up from the pit of our stomachs. This is what you are supposed to be dealing with. This is your body saying please stop hiding your feelings with food. If emotions rise up put the food down and honour your feelings. Honour yourself, honour your body, respect the reality of the moment.

    Being more mindful with our food is another avenue to being more mindful with ourselves. Another way we can get to know ourselves better. When we get to know ourselves better, paradoxically we don’t need to hide from ourselves in food anymore. Therefore more mindful eating can only mean less emotional eating and bingeing.

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  • Binge Eating, Blogvember, Emotional Eating

    2 – The fear of the ‘all-you-can-eat’ buffet

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    This post is for all of you who are scared of the all you can eat buffet, or any event where there is an unlimited amount of food on supply, for some of us that could even be the grocery store. Trust me, I know that fear. The fear that you will start filling your plate and will literally not be able to stop. You will keep eating and eating and eating until you can’t move, until you feel physically sick, beyond physically sick even.

    I have been there. That horrendous fullness and absolute self-loathing at what a “fat, greedy, disgusting pig” you are. I know it well. There is a secret to stopping these behaviours dead in their tracks though.

    It’s something which confused me for an incredibly long time. It’s paradoxical, it doesn’t make sense when you have lived in diet land for so long. But the whole point is to get out of diet crazy town right? So we need to think differently.

    The reason we binge, the reason we eat and eat and eat at sporadic times, seemingly for no reason is because we. are. not. allowed. to.

    That’s right, we binge because we restrict

    We have this story running in our head that we are not allowed to eat as much as we want in an unlimited way. We spend our whole lives restricting ourselves, telling ourselves we are not allowed to have this, we must have a smaller portion, we can’t have two helpings, we mustn’t have dessert.

    We are constantly trying to control ourselves around food with our minds. We are trying to use willpower to fight our bodies, a battle between the psychological and the physical.  SO when there is a message in the outside world that says ‘all you can eat’ or there is a family barbeque, party, any event with free food…suddenly psychologically we are given this green light, this free pass to literally eat as much as we can before our own minds take back the reins.

    This has broader ramifications as well. Think about it…the only reason you binge is because you restrict yourself. If you didn’t restrict yourself at all around food, physically or psychologically you wouldn’t binge. By psychologically I mean to say that you might still be eating enough to meet your physical needs but if in your mind you are chastising yourself, telling yourself it is too much or not the right thing this counts as psychological restriction.

    So the fastest, simplest way to free yourself from gorging is by giving yourself permission to eat whatever you want whenever you want. Crazy, but it’s the truth.

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