Exercise

  • STRUGGLING WITH OVERWHELM? 6 Action Steps To Take Right Now

    Overwhelm…probably makes you feel a little…Anxious? Nervous? Fearful? yep, even thinking of the word can conjure an unpleasant response in our body.

    So what exactly is it, where does it come from and most importantly how do we stop it from taking over?

    Overwhelm is rooted in a feeling of powerlessness. Overwhelm happens when we have lost our sense of self and have been plunged into confusion feeling a myriad of limitless options surrounding us with no idea which way to turn. This confusion may come from outside of us or from inside our own minds – but either way – it all feels like “too much” and often makes us want to shut down.

    It pushes many of us into procrastination or gets us doing meaningless tasks that aren’t in line with our truth.

    So why does overwhelm happen? Why, even though we know it is not helpful for us, do we let it in? Why can’t we stop it?

    Here are two fundamental reasons for overwhelm 

    1) YOU ARE NOT ANCHORED IN YOUR OWN AUTHORITY

    You get overwhelmed because your focus and energy is directed outward too much. There is too much emphasis on things that are going on outside of you and what other people are doing, thinking and saying.

    This is the manifestation often of a huge boundary issue, especially for empaths. Where your sense of self and identity is based on the reflections you receive from those around you and is not generated from within.

    You then get overwhelmed because there are limitless options available to you out there and without being anchored in your own authority you have no way to narrow down those options.

    The world is simply too much and your container is always overflowing with other peoples thoughts and ideas. Your own voice is crowded out.

    2) THE VOICE OF YOUR INNER CRITIC IS LOUDER THAN YOUR INTUITION/HEART

    You haven’t cultivated a strong enough relationship with your intuition and the voice of your ego takes over often.

    Your ego voice is one of fear. This conditioned voice will keep telling you you are not good enough, you need to be small, you shouldn’t cause a scene, you shouldn’t speak up.

    You feel overwhelmed then because suddenly everything feels like too much of a challenge. Everything is too scary, too dangerous, too risky. So you end up not doing these things – your ego has won – it has kept you safe and small.

    The pressure inside your mind has overwhelmed any dreams or desires you have in life to go and do what you want to do.

    The outcome as a result of either 1) or 2) or both is that you feel small and restricted in your own life and feel out of control.

    In both scenarios you are perpetuating a concept of separateness. You are disconnected from source, disconnected from truth.

    The natural order of things is wholeness, balance and abundance. The concept of overwhelm is a construct of your mind that keeps you feeling small because it wants you to be safe. 

    Overwhelm often comes with a growth moment. It is when you are asking more of yourself than you have done before.

    But, very importantly, you CAN grow without overwhelm.

    Here’s how…

    Here are 6 tips you can action whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed in order to reduce the overwhelm and allow you to move forward in life in whichever direction you want to go

    1) GET INTO THE BODY AND MOVE THE ENERGY

    Any intuitive movement is good, even just focusing on the breath works.

    Overwhelm manifests in the body but lives in the mind. Therefore you need to acknowledge it, and then move it. Examples include dance, yoga, stretching, walking, gym workouts. Any somatic practice that takes you out of your mind and into your body works well here. This is not the best time to learn a new physical skill though because you need your mind for that. Choose easy movement that you know how to do.

    2) TELL YOURSELF A NEW STORY

    Use affirmations to change the story in your mind. The most important thing here is to find statements that feel true to you. Here are a couple of examples.

    “I am more powerful than what is making me anxious”

    “I am a divine limitless spiritual being having a human experience”

    3) SET BOUNDARIES

    This will feel hard at first and may even feel more overwhelming but once you have set them and then stick with them your life will feel so much easier.

    A very tangible example here is setting boundaries around giving your energy to others. If you are constantly being asked by other people to do things for them and have no time for you then start setting boundaries with the people in your life. State clearly that you are happy to help them out but with conditions. Give time limits, share how much resource it takes you etc. let people know what you are available for and if they ask more of you then stay firm and say “no”. Make sure you are always spending time each day giving your own energy back to yourself.

    4) BREAK DOWN TASKS

    Break down tasks into the smallest conceivable size.

    I love this Hemingway quote that always reminds me of this…he talks about writing a book, saying that the idea of writing a whole novel can feel too daunting, too overwhelming…instead of thinking this he says “all you have to do is write one true sentence”.

    That is a beautiful example of breaking down a huge, overwhelming task – writing a book – into its smallest conceivable next step – writing one sentence.

    Take that principle to your to-do list.

    5) CHANGE THE TIMELINE

    Give yourself more time to do things. You don’t need to have everything done yesterday. This is so simple and so effective.

    We consistently overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can achieve in a year or in a lifetime.

    Remember the tale of the tortoise and the hare. Consistent, sustainable effort over a long time period WILL give you results so long as you stay committed. Remember that you are in charge of your time and resources. If someone is asking too much of you you get to say “no” (remember action step 3 here)

    6) DO NOT STOP COMPLETELY

    When we get overwhelmed there is a tendency to want to shut down. But when we do that we lose momentum completely and it becomes more difficult and – to be honest – more overwhelming to start again. 

    Remember action step 4 – what is the smallest conceivable task you can do to keep the momentum rolling?

    For example, if you are moving house you may feel paralysed by overwhelm about sorting out and packing up your whole house – set yourself the task of clearing out and packing one bookshelf. The satisfaction of doing that will likely motivate and inspire you to do another shelf, and another. If it doesn’t then at the very least you have completed that one task and you can do another the next day. Just do not give up completely.

    I want to share one last BONUS action step….

    GET SUPPORT

    With all of these tips remember that you never need to go through this alone. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and like you cannot manage your life reach out and share those feelings with someone. Speaking out and sharing your experience is so so helpful in moving that energy. I want you to feel empowered to deal with overwhelm in your life but I also want you to know that empowered people still need support and guidance.

    If you are building a new coaching or healing business and are feeling overwhelmed and confused then I am here for you. I work with new coaches and healers to put together beautiful signature offers and build their business in a way that feels amazing and allows them to find success with ease, grace and flow. Click here for more information

    ALSO FEATURED ON MINDFLOWHARMONY HERE

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  • 5 – Take a break – transform your relationship with exercise now

    I am a fully qualified personal trainer and up until 7 months ago that was how I spent most of my time – training people in the gym, teaching gym-based classes and training myself. However I only did that job for around 18 months after quitting my corporate job in finance before I realised that while I thought I had made my passion my job I had actually made my obsession my job and it got pretty unhealthy very quickly (read more on my story here).

    Coming to Bali was supposed to be a brief break from London living, get some sun, sea, sand and space. I never envisaged my whole life changing, definitely not going from training nearly everyday to not at all for 2 months. I used to live in the gym, literally. At one point I had memberships to 3 different gyms. I was completely obsessed, addicted even, it was my whole life.

    Exercise was my escape, my release, my ‘me-time’. It was my meditation, it was what ‘kept me sane’.

    I see this all over social media – we use exercise to ‘de-stress’, to forget about our problems for an hour, to make ourselves feel better. For a lot of people this can be totally healthy, but for anyone who has struggled with food or their body image, has emotional trauma from their past (or present) they are trying to run from, exercise as an escape is just another way to not deal with your life. Another way to avoid feeling what you need to feel in order to be ok, in order to accept who you are. When everything around me was falling apart and I got bored of dieting I made exercise my absolute compulsion. I claimed that it was good for my mental, emotional and physical health.

    However it got to the point that anytime I went to train in the gym I would get physically ill. I would train and then have to lie in bed for 2 days after as I was completely exhausted, suffering from flu-like symptoms. I went to the doctor and tests showed my kidneys were not functioning properly, unable to cope with the strain I was putting them under with my lifestyle. At this point I had cut my training down to once or twice a week, or even less. I was definitely not over-exercising by any stretch of the imagination.

    But exercise was still hurting me. And not just physically.

    The gym had been another place I went to escape from the things in my life which I didn’t know how to deal with, like my parents divorce. I had absolutely no tools to deal with any difficult emotions in my life, so I avoided them.

    The stress of storing all of my negative emotions in my body on top of a gruelling fitness regime I had put myself under for the previous 3 years led me to completely crumble.

    So I quit everything. I quit every single thing I was doing to avoid my emotions and instead started feeling them. Quitting the gym was one of the toughest because I am naturally an active person (…I was a Personal Trainer!), but also because there is a powerful message coming from the media that exercise is a healthy way to handle your emotions. I was left feeling like such a failure that I couldn’t exercise. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I saw so many messages from fitness influencers saying exercise was so good for their mental health/anxiety/depression. It felt like I lost part of my identity and one of my main coping mechanisms.

    But actually while I had to give up a big part of my life for a few months I didn’t realise that this was the best thing I could do for my relationship with myself and with exercise.

    The beauty of dealing with my real issues, feeling into them rather than trying to escape them with exercise, is that I have been able to come back to exercise with a fresh perspective. Coming back to it I am now able to enjoy it in a new, different and much more liberated way. Actually enjoy it for what it is, which is a way of keeping my physical body healthy so that I can enjoy a long, happy life.

    Truly if you know you are using the gym to escape from deep painful emotions and dissatisfaction with your life than you are setting yourself up for disaster. You are kicking the can down the road and potentially destroying your body in the process.

    The only reason we should be in the gym is to keep our physical bodies fit and healthy so that we can enjoy our lives.

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