Are you feeling overwhelmed with 2019 yet? Is the pressure of planning, goal-setting and life-hacking getting to you already? Is the feeling that this has got to be your ‘best year yet’ already making you feel like you are totally unworthy and setting yourself up for failure? Is furiously planning how to not ‘burn-out’ causing you to feel burnt out…?
Yeh…me too.
This blog post is not focused on food and emotional eating for the good reason that that is only a small portion of the amount of pressure we humans put on ourselves at this time of year to improve ourselves. Looking slimmer and feeling healthier is just a mere slice of the self-improvement pie we are dishing up for ourselves.
The new year is a lovely moment for us to reflect on the past year and make plans for things we would like to do and achieve in the coming year. Planning is also an incredibly helpful skill in allowing us to schedule time for what we want to prioritise. However planning is very different from doing, and it is even further from BEing, which is truly what we are really aiming for with all this scheduling and planning.
The reason we set goals and plan is not to see how many different activities we can fit in one year. When we really think about it the reason we set goals is because we want this year to be different, we want this to be the year that WE change. It’s not really about what we are doing, it is about who we want to become.
Let’s say we set a goal to travel more…why? Because we want to be the type of person who travels the world. We want to be an adventurer, courageous, free-spirited…whatever characteristics we associate with that thing, that’s who we want to be hence why we set that goal.What if instead of setting goals to do things that will bring us closer to the person we want to be we start by actually writing a list of all the characteristics we would like to have. Then simply start being that. Want to be more courageous? Do something that scares you…you don’t need to plan it. In fact it will be most effective if you don’t! For example, you find yourself in an uncomfortable conversation with a family member…the old you stays quiet, nods in agreement while seething inside and then walks away; the new brave you plucks up the courage to speak up and share your truth in a kind and compassionate way with that person. That type of courage is the type of courage which grows you as a person far more quickly and effectively than skydiving or bungee jumping.
Sticking with courage, which lets face it nearly all of us want more of, we are often asking not only to be more brave but to be more brave in our vulnerability. To find the strength to be more open with those we are close to. To crack open our hard exterior and let people know us. When we are being called to be brave its because we are being called to stand up in our power. In the power of our vulnerability.
So this year why not try standing up as the person you want to BE. Do less and be more.
Many blessings for 2019. Lots of love and may you have the courage to be who you want to be this year.