Quote I am connecting with this week
“It is not the skills we actually have that determine how we feel, but the ones we think we have” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Documentary I loved this week
I was totally engrossed by the Shawn Mendes: In Wonder documentary currently on Netflix.
I find it both soothing and inspiring to watch artists work tirelessly on their craft with dedication and commitment. Regardless of whether you like his music, his story is a true testament to the power of having big dreams, working hard towards them and never giving up. I liked that there is no particular tragedy in his story. He is just a guy who decided he wanted to sing and worked super hard at his craft with relentless commitment.
You don’t need to be motivated by deep pain or trauma to create something amazing in this world. It can be enough that you just want to do it.
It sometimes feels cliched to say but this documentary was a beautiful reminder to work hard on what you are passionate about. No matter what you want to do in life the most important thing is that you put effort into it and you feel the pure joy of doing it. Even if it doesn’t result in a 100+ date stadium tour with thousands of adoring fans screaming your name….the satisfaction you get from working really hard at something you love is priceless.
and One More Thing
It is Black Friday…a consumer’s favourite day of the year where prices are slashed and we are encouraged to go out and spend freely on things we need and many things we don’t.
It is the perfect day to take a look at our relationship with consumption.
I like to offer up this space as a container for truth and the many ways our relationship with truth gets confused, misshapen, disguised or mishandled. The idea there is one truth when it comes to how much or little is right to produce or consume is controversial to me so come with me for an exploration on the relationship between the healing journey and consuming goods and services…
We know overconsumption of anything is the attempt to fill a hole we believe exists within us that makes us feel unworthy, unlovable and outcast from the rest of humanity. We overconsume in an attempt to make ourselves feel whole, to numb the pain of separation and loneliness.
The answer to that problem is to do the soul work, to embrace healing and to enjoy the journey of self-discovery of the internal world in order to find and feel the wholeness so desperately looked for outside ourselves.
But what if you have been on this healing journey for a while…what if you have felt that intrinsic wholeness? What if you feel truly loved and supported in life?
There is an assumption many make that the healing journey ends in a blissful nirvana that means you will no longer desire or need anything outside of yourself in the physical world. That you will happily long to live in a cave somewhere with none of this ‘stuff’ we humans seem to produce and then accumulate at alarming rates.
This may be true for some people…but for the majority finding wholeness does not mean a complete emancipation from the present experience of being human on this planet.
In fact, it often means a new level of understanding, participation and embracing of all the facets of present day life.
We may come home into wholeness with a renewed personal interest in certain hobbies or activities that demand consumption or creation of certain goods or services. As an artist we may discover delight in sourcing new materials and spending money on tools to help us create.
We may come home to wholeness realising our mission is to start a tech company that has the capacity to restore biodiversity in certain parts of the world, or to produce equipment that will improve our understanding of the brain and mental health.
The idea that healing means you should not participate in society as it exists right now is outdated and unhelpful. We do not need to chastise ourselves or others or refrain from responsibly enjoying some of the bounty that is available to us out of a notion that it is morally wrong.
Remembering wholeness is about coming back into the truth of who YOU are as an individual in each and every moment and realising that you as an individual live with an inherent connectedness to all beings and all things.
The beauty comes in understanding the responsibility that comes with that.
What is most important today as you consider your Black Friday purchases or this whole day in its entirety is to connect with the truth of who you are and consume (or choose not to) from a place of wholeness.
You are allowed to desire things, surround yourself with beauty and objects that delight you and help you. Be conscious of the choices you are making and release any judgement you may have of yourself.
Buy the things or don’t buy the things but allow yourself to live in the honesty of who you are right now with the understanding that you can change in any moment if you choose to.
PS I want to acknowledge the undeniable privilege of this perspective. It is an infinitesimal proportion of the global population who even has the psychic capacity to begin to consider this issue in this way. But you are one of those people, as am I. And by diving deeper into it for ourselves, by releasing shame and judgement around the structure of society, we get to change our relationship with it and through that see a new truth of how things could be. To make change happen acceptance and acknowledgement of what is must come first.