Quote I am leaning into
“Be softer with you. You are a breathing thing. A memory to someone. A home to a life” Nayyirah Waheed
Take 10 breaths with me
and One More Thing
My therapist called me out this week…
He said something along the lines of….”it sounds like you believe that everything you work on or create has to be mind-blowing or bring totally unexpected extraordinary results”
I thought…yes…and…where’s the problem?
Well it turns out, in my mind, that is actually a huge problem
It also turns out that so much of what I see and consume in the healing and coaching space is about “mind-blowing results”, collapsing time to “achieve the impossible” or completely unexpected “unbelievable” stories of growth and transformation
I know these snapshots and captions are inspiring, and when it comes to marketing, they work…who wouldn’t want a piece of that magic…
AND we also need to consider how we absorb these messages and what stories we, as individuals, create from them
In my case, I latched on to the narrative about my work that anything less than “extraordinary” was a failure or complete waste of time…it’s an old pattern that I have held on to tightly for a very long time and one that the coaching/healing industry validated….the industry is here for “extraordinary” results and so am I…so LFG (right?!)
Well…kind of right…but for me, wrong
As a result of this belief being supported and validated thousands of times over, I have heaped INSANE amounts of pressure on myself and backed myself into a corner
Putting my nervous system in the very difficult place of supporting me through the daily decision making process of “create/deliver/perform something SPECTACULAR right now or you are a failure”…
As I slowly release the pressure valve and bring some much needed perspective I am reminded of what an incredible amplifier this work is
Having your own business, especially as a coach/healer, will always magnify whatever you are bringing to the table
So the exceptionally high standards I had for myself that helped me cope for so long and gave me self-esteem became toxic when put under the microscope of growing my business
To the extent that I had to simply stop because my nervous system couldn’t keep up with my own desire to constantly create mind-blowing results…
You may not relate to this story at all, you may not feel that pressure, you may be totally at ease with creating the extraordinary or maybe not…I am sharing here as a cautionary tale…that there is always something, no matter where you are at with your business/career or in your life…we are constantly feeding old patterns and creating new ones…and it is ‘the work’ to be vigilant yet kind while we see and unravel them…to hold ourselves so gently always, to see the best in ourselves even when it is not obvious, to let our light guide us forward even when the path seems painful or challenging…to let ourselves be led, step by step, on the journey that is our life
and when you choose this path you are choosing something extra special…it is a way of life, a way of being, a way of showing up for you…it won’t always look “mind-blowing”, you won’t always be “collapsing time” or “achieving the impossible” but you will be living exactly as you are meant to…and that is the most inspiring story you can ever tell